Oh ok ok, well so basically it happened like this - ( I'm gonna only explain about Feysand ) @AelinAndRowanForever!!!
ACOSF SPOILERS PLS BEWARE
In acosf, Feyre became pregnant like we all know. But Since Feyre has a high fae body, and Rhysand is an illyrian, their baby had wings. Illyrian females have a specifically designed pelvis to give birth to Illyrian babies ( with wings ). So Madja ( the healer ) told Rhysand that it was physically impossible for Feyre to give birth to the baby, both of them would die. Rhysand was tense and irritable in the entire book bcoz of this fact. I can understand that. However, he was also very rude and Snapped at his family ( the inner circle ) at many times.
1. Also, he chose to keep the fact that Feyre's pregnancy could kill her and the child and also Rhysand ( since they both made a bargain that they'd die together. Feyre already didn't like Rhysand hiding important details from her- like he hid the fact that they were mates. Knowing this, he still kept this secret from her. I can understand he didn't want to worry her, but there seemed like he had no plans of telling her until the last moment, so when Nesta tells her what Rhysand was hiding , Rhysand becomes murderous and threatens to kill Nesta- for telling her sister the truth about her pregnancy. Rhysand had no right to keep this from Feyre bcoz it was a matter of her life and death too. And yes, one of the reasons Feyre hated Tamlin bcoz he didn't share information with her, info that concerned her life. Well Rhysand discussed this issue With all the members of the inner circle- so yeah Tamlin vibes here.
2. Another part is when Feyre's pregnant, Rhysand made her wear an invisible shield- to protect the baby. But the red flag here was that Rhysand was the only one who controlled that shield, so only he could touch her. He distanced Feyre from her friends- he couldn't even let Azriel or Cassian touch her ????? I Actually love the Platonic relationship btwn Feyre, Cassian and Azriel. But that shield was an overly territorial thing to do and spioiled the whole point of their platonic warm relationship. It was like he doubted them, which was almost insulting. He could let that shield allow Atleast the Inner circle members to touch Feyre right ? And most importantly, if Feyre and Rhysand are supposed to be equals, and Feyre can cast spells, why should Rhysand be the one to decide- he always tell Feyre it her choice, so let her make the shield and allow only the ppl she wants to touch her, Or was he paranoid and didn't trust Feyre that she wouldn't protect Feyre ? Either way it's problematic. And Feyre did complain about him putting that shield on her- so why didn't Rhysand take it off ? No he still kept it. This reminded me vaguely of Tamlin locking Feyre away in the house to protect her.
3. The third part is when he screamed at Azriel. During the winter solstice, Azriel and Elain get kinda close and kiss, when Az gifts her a necklace. However, Rhysand interrupted them, and told Az to stay away from Elain. That was crossing the line. Azriel is an adult and he can make his own choices. There's no need for Rhysand to be the daddy of the Inner Circle and force his Opinions over them. And not only that, Rhysand threatened and commanded Az. Az is his brother, not his subject. A part of his own family. And yet he showed his high lord dominance over Az. He could have explained him patiently Whatever his reason was ( and he was crossing limits anyway bcoz he has no right to decide Azriel's love life- that totally is Azriel's choice. )And if he's commanding Az to listen to him, then I'm sry but Rhys is turning out to be a tyrant like Tamlin ( Remember how Tamlin used to Command Lucien around and treat him like a servant bcoz Tamlin was the high lord here ? )
All these parts made me see and look over the invisible acts of toxicity and Abuse that Rhysand had committed in the past three books- and yeah it opened my eyes. So yeah, Rhysand was a toxic person/male from the beginning- we just didn't see it bcoz he's relatively better to Tamlin. But he's still abusive and manipulative. I'm not saying Tamlin is better, but Rhysand is no Perfection either. What I disliked here was that a harmful guy like this was sexualised and made to seem ' hot ' while many young girls read Acotar, they might be influenced in the wrong way. The whole acotar series ( except Acosf ) was just dominance of the male protagonists over the female protagonists written under the pretense of Feminism.
Sry for ranting, but again u asked me. If u still have any questions, just ping me, and apologies if I sounded rude anywhere, not my intention. 😅
^^ ACOSF SPOILERS ABOVE BEWARE